RPG Week 2019
It may be hard to believe, but the world’s most famous roleplaying game will be changing its name next year. Starting in April 2020, the iconic Dungeons and Dragons (D&D) will instead be called Dungeon(s) and/or Dragon(s), abbreviated D&/D.
“It’s a simple name change, really, but we wanted to show that we’re in tune with customers’ expectations,” said John DiBragio, Associate Vice Executive of Branding and/or Licensing for Hasbro. “Focus groups have shown that most Dungeon(s) and/or Dragon(s) players just weren’t reliably engaging with both of those aspects of the game world simultaneously, and our legal team suggested that we could be held liable if players didn’t experience at least two dungeons and two dragons per session. That really accelerated the name change.”
“What we’ve found,” DiBragio continued, “is that most of our players intuitively understand that dragons, who are known for having giant wings and flying around the countryside, really don’t want to be cooped up in a dungeon, eating dire rats and not finding any new treasure. It just doesn’t make much sense ecologically, so our Dungeon Masters will often populate their dungeons with things like rust monsters or gelatinous cubes, which obviously make way more sense. We don’t want to be held responsible for that.”
Of course, the flip side of DiBragio’s assessment is also true: most of the settings are not true dungeons, areas where prisoners are held. Often D&/D characters will instead explore cave networks, sewers, kobold warrens, unusual basements or even, very rarely, above-ground locations.
When asked if this presents a similar legal challenge, DiBragio merely stated that he “hadn’t thought of that” before excusing himself to make a loud, tearful phone call.
This is satire. Please make an Insight check.
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I must say, this is a funny story, but isn’t it a bit early for April fools?
Yeah…I mean no offense to the writer of the article (would this be considered an article?) but I don’t get the point of just posting something like this not as an April fool’s joke. Sure…ha-ha I guess, but why?
To keep sharp, perhaps? Sometimes writing a bunch of nonsense helps alleviate writer’s block or generates new ideas. Idk I found the article amusing so I’m not looking for a deeper meaning.
Yeah but most writers don’t actually post those though.
And?
Ever heard of the Onion? Or maybe even just satire? You couldn’t be more wrong.
The low int lawful good paladin says “jokes can only be on joke day!”
lol exactly
Don’t make lawful good Pala’s look like butt hurt nerds on the internet. I’m sure they’d at least be smart enough to realize jokes can happen on any day not just one day out of the year.
Paladins are too stupid to even look nerdy.
Because satire doesn’t need a specific day out of the year to be showcased. So stupid. Why do you butt hurt morons keep bringing up April Fools day? Is it because your brain is too feeble to tell it’s satire and at least on that day you have a lot of help since you can assume everything is fake? Satire and jokes don’t need to be told on the specific day you want them told, dumbass. Grade A Retard.
Your comment gave me diabetes. I actually cringed when you said “feeble”. Go get a life, buddy, outside of being hostile online. You’re actual trash for talking to people that way
The daily onion doesn’t wait for April. ?
It’s satire and things of this nature have been published for hundreds of years. It helps if you have a sense of humor.
Or late, more like. This CAN’T be real…can it?
It is a marked as a satire, soooooo
Yeah that’s what I was thinking
… Or a bit late….
…And/or 2 1/2 months late?
No one tell this guy about the Onion.
Hahaha this fool thinks jokes can only be made on a specific day. What a retard!
Wow, Chris… Just all through the comments being an elitist nerd. The only bad kind of nerd, aside from the poor hygiene ones… But let’s face it, the two are mutually inclusive. Would suck if I showed your friends and family what you say when you think you’re anonymous. Bet your special needs relatives would love hearing you call people “retarded”.
Just a point, Chris Telep throws “hard R”s. Let’s leave that there so if you’re ever googled, it’ll show up.
Shit….you almost had me there. XD
😉
100% satire my friend.
Are we now going to be kicked off of Twitter for dead-naming our favorite game?
What even is this?
haha, april fools. you got me. you can delete the article now. haha, very funny. why isnt everyone laughing. why is nobody laughing. ha…ha….wow this sounds like something someone who rolled a 6 for WIS and a 4 for INT would do.
guess dungeon masters are gonna have to change their names.
Also, What asshole populates entire dungeons with nothing but cubes and rust monsters, and actually survived the resulting asskicking
This better be a joke.
This had better be a joke.
This is incredibly stupid welcome to the idiocracy
Yup welcome cuz this joke went way over your head.
You had me, I’ll admit. I thought, dear God D&D is getting woke, the heat death of the solar system shall now commence. Thank you for making my ulcer open back up.
That just seems like a poorly thought out situation, as any game comes down to the individual DM, so if people aren’t happy with the campaign they just need to talk to their DM. Dungeons and Dragons has been an iconic name for so long and rolls off the tongue, where Dungeons and\or Dragons just doesn’t have near the ring to it. Some games even don’t even have dungeons or dragons, so under that logic they would still be in danger of legal allegations. The better solution would just to begin putting a statement at the beginning of the books. “Wizards is not responsible for the game experience of the individual, we provide the tools and materials to run worlds at the dungeon master’s discretion. If you are unsatisfied please consult your Dungeon Master.”
If you knew how to actually read you would’ve gotten that it was satire. Really dumb and lame satire, but satire nonetheless.
This was the stupidest, poorly written, and lamest article I have read. It legal crap to continue to hold the market place hostage.
Wow, this is the most moronic, deficiently, and feeble comment I have read. It is comments like this that make me question the human experience.
Buddy. It states it as SATIRE. You know what that mean? Its a joke, nothing more. This isn’t really going to happen. at the bottom of the article it states in bold “This is satire. Please make an Insight check”
Quite clearly a joke.
It’s a joke. They added “This is satire. Please make an Insight check.” in bold at the bottom because people cant seem to take a joke…
Found the fool that believed it!!!
Good God, people can’t take a joke nowadays. *I* thought it was funny, at least.
I’m worried for the human race all the people who were like oh you got me I was suspicious of the veracity of this at d&/d looking for a 4/1 published date and by the time I was at legal reasons I knew it was a joke
I failed my check..
Haha, good one
I need some Monster so I can wake up
The sad part about it is that I believed this for a bit.
I passed my insight check!
I guess anyone who got angry with the writer must have missed the bold black letters at the end of the article “This is satire. Please make an Insight check”.
To be fair, we only added that an hour ago, since lots of people were missing the hashtag at the end of the article.
Its new Coke all over again.
Odd coincidence that this exact same joke was in the most recently released episode of Hello From the Magic Tavern…
Glad someone else caught that too
EDITOR: I reviewed the relevant podcast episode from “Hello From the Magic Tavern” (first I’ve heard of it), and while there’s certainly overlap, I doubt that they’re the first ones to make that joke either; D&D has been around since 1974 after all.
Is this satire, or trolling?
Not gonna lie, you had me going there. Well played!
Dragon Quest should be renamed because you aren’t going on a quest to kill the dragon lord. That’s the logic they’re going by.
How did this get into my news feed????
My thoughts, exactly. I must be making some very bad choices in what I click on, this being the most recent example.
Hahahaha the article was funny but the amount of comments being so angry about something obviously a joke is even funnier!
Hands down. Nerd rage is hilarious. Now they are demanding no satirical articles outside of one day of the year. Hahaha
Welp my hats off to you sir you had me going there for a hot second. It’s sad that we live in world right now that that seems plausible
By about the third or fourth sentence I was smiling then I got down to the comments and I started really laughing. Kudos to the author. Well played. Very well played.
Ya had me in the first half, I ain’t lying.
You got me, I admit it. Well done.
This should be 80% of the comments here but everyone who got fooled is now trying to make a case that satirical articles shouldn’t exist outside of one day of the year. These guys are pretty dumb for being nerds.
Not funny. Just pointless.
As is ALL satire and comedy. Pointless. Yet, they all still hold greater value than you. You’re just a worthless human being. Made obvious by the amount of butt hurt words have caused you.
I especially liked this nice touch: “John DiBragio, Associate Vice Executive of Branding and/or Licensing for Hasbro.” I was amused and/or tickled. Not necessarily both, of course.
Isn’t satire supposed to be humorous and/or insightful?
0/2
Humorous is subjective and NEVER has satire needed the requirement of “insightful”. That’s just stupid.
Thank you JTMoney for all of your post and responses. I was so frustrated or angry or just wanted to smile at several post. But each time you had the response I would write myself roughly! So ?? On saving me some typing and just allowing me to continue laughing after reading the article. Ignorance is everywhere these days and as you point out even satire is now under attack I guess womp womp.
Wrong -satire is insightful.
Rolls for insight, natural 1
*Wisdom check passed, +2 modifier
*Casts Detect Bullshit just to be safe
You pass, but barely. Roll for initiative.
Dear Sir/Madam,
Re: Concerning construction of the term D and/or D (“concerning term”).
We refer to the above issue and wish to notify you of the following concerns with relation to a narrow interpretation and reading of above-mentioned Concerning Term:
1. Any argument or implied assertion to suggest that a Games Master (“GM”) or associated adventuring constituents (“Adventurers”) should be bound to any implied ratio of any one type of adventuring event (“Dungeon”), or any one type of opposing force, not limited to; goblins, orcs, drow, gelatinous villains, dragons or any other form of opossing creature, entity, spiritual being or otherwise (“Mobs”), it is a direct breach of the Golden Rule of gaming. Whereby this rule operates, as mandate of the furtherance of fun, creativity and leisure, it is in direct contradiction of said Golden Rule.
2. Pursuant to point 1. herein it is therefore necessary to maintain a wider reading of the term D&D in respect of the implied rights of all Dungeon Masters (“GM”), which is so enlived to allow a consumer based veto rights against any purported naming rights.
3. Furthermore, the term DnD may also be reasonably construed as “Development and Design” (Alternative Definition) which imports a wider reaching connation in allowing creation via Any design and development, not limited to any singularity of Mobs or Dungeon. Additionally, it adds weight to the wider construction of the Concerned Term. Accordingly, where the Alternative definition is read in line with the Concerned Term the proper construction of DnD must be read down to allow for a reasonable GMs purpose. No GM may or will be held liable for any apparent lack of a dungeon or a dragon whereby such a wide construction of the term does not expressly necessitate that either of those events are to occur in any given adventure.
BE ON NOTICE:
We, as GMs or as associated adventuring constituents accept no liability, responsibility or otherwise, at law or or under contract, to perform any DnD game within any confines of the Concerned Term.
We reserve our rights under contract law, the common law and by way of the golden rule implied into all games to any damages associated with any narrowing construction of the Concerned Term.
Kind Regards
Serriph GM
( Roll insight and then intelligence at a disadvantage with a -4 penalty to legalese with respect to the aforementioned letter)
Beautiful response. I’d expect nothing less from a rules lawyer. 😉
I love this.
I got to admit, before I got to the end and saw the disclaimer, I was on the verge of losing my $#!%. In this day and age, I can see a company easily doing such an idiotic move.
Good joke, guys. You got me there!
Gotta say, you got me good. I was seriously considering running to the nearest Barnes & Noble to have a box before they changed the labeling, haha. Nice one, mate!
I want to go to Meeple Mountain. How do I get there?
As others have said. Isn’t it a little early for an April fools?
You only allow jokes on April Fools? So stupid.
What got me is, with all the monumental stupidity going on, I can see someone being this stupid. Until I saw the satire note, I was trying to figure if this was real. I couldn’t see Wizards doing anything that dumb.
Even better, since dungeons & dragons represents the breadth of what is possible in that game world that it should be renamed dungeons TO dragons or D2D.
They had us in the first half, not gonna lie.
I got a nat 20 on the insight check. Well done
I, too, listen to Welcome To The Magic Tavern!
Oh, I get it!!!! They messed up and forgot to make this come out on March 32nd. Because NO ONE intentionally posts jokes like this this so close to 2nd fiscal quarter. Without serious risk to the financial health of the company being adversely affected, and thus being a duche of untold magnitude. ** as the author sits around a tavern with his friends talking about the good joke he pulled on a bunch of unsuspecting socially inept nerds, his table is suddenly surrounded by a slew of Black suited Lawyer Orc’s that proceed to eviscerate him at the table serving his raw innards to the no longer chortling comrades.
Lmfao Why are the nerds so butt hurt they were fooled? You guys are literally making an argument that you can’t make satirical article outside of a specified time period. So fucking MORONIC! Hahahahaha
I must say that I got pretty damned pissed and blamed the millennials for being the ones who prompted this name change and was about to write a scathing email to WoC about their over abundance of pussies running the company until I got to the end and saw it was just a joke. Bravo for getting my blood pumping.
Today’s satire is tomorrow’s truth. How long before the first lawsuit?
Well… I thought it was funny. ??
https://giphy.com/gifs/RobertEBlackmon-comments-here-for-the-comment-section-1vZfYD1L2lwhLC7I9t
Comedy isnt pointless, its needed for mental health, well maybe on comedy specificly, everyone has different tastes, but i didnt find this one offensive or funny, after seeing the hint at the end i was relieved. However it totally broke my focus on making an over powered barbarian.
What is the difference it is still D&D you play by the same rules you play it all the same why change it?
This is completely rediculous and/or hilariously pointless. It would be like going to a used car dealer and calling it a used car and/or other vehicles dealer…and having to actually SAY that every time!! Ludicrous. And the cost of rebranding for something that will make no difference to new players and, probably, piss off those who have been playing and/or DMing this game and/or RPG for so long is likely not worth it (probably being passed on to the consumer and/or players). I’m laughing at this and will NEVER refer to it by the new branding and I’ll laugh in the face of those who do!
Given that Google.com recommended this to me on the search engine page as (presumably) a news article, there are more problems with this than a missed hashtag or a comment in bold added after the fact.
Is all of “Meeple Mountain” satire? The url places this in the “news” section. I don’t know if I’ve ever read anything on http://www.meeplemountain.com before, but this sort of article rightfully leads people to conclude the site is misleading at best and fake at worst.
A better way to handle this would be to introduce the article as satire and tie the content of the article to a problem currently facing tabletop gaming. Use satire to make a point rather than a click-bait title to spread false, potentially inflammatory, information.
EDITOR: David, this is an excellent and reasoned response. Meeple Mountain is a tabletop gaming website featuring content about board games and RPG. Most of the “News” section is news in the same way that The Onion is news.
What da fuq is wrong with people? Is this a joke? Name change? WHY???
This is just stupid. You can’t just change the name because a bunch of bitches. Seriously same people probably complained about GOT ending and Drew up a petition to get the producer to rewrite the ending. You get what you get. Quit whining about things that bother your fragile sense of being. Or get a DM that puts you in a dungeon with a freaking dragon. Better yet give me a perception roll. Everyone sees you as a gelatinous cube of butthurt emotions. You don’t seem to grasp who you really are.
Whelp. Guess who rolled a NAT 1 for their insight check. ?
Rolled a 1.
So they’re really changing name, huh?